Anxiety ( Dedicated to all the engineers who have been a part of it)

I may have died uncountable deaths and then every passing moment had infused new life within me. Little did I know what lied beyond the dark horizons of that evil mind. The very thought of it sent a shiver through my spines. I asked myself innumerable questions and trust me none of the answers were devoid of "ifs" and " buts". Peers did their part but could they experience the agony I was going through? Could they look at the world from my point of view? Immaterial though it may be now, these questions did bother me some tens of hours back and did deprive me of the peace of my mind.

One moment saw my world coming to a still and the next moment.....You are mistaken. It still left me clueless about how should I keep moving on. Long term objectives which may have been just months away seemed to be drifting apart light years from me.How frantically I had thought of accomplishing that feat might be tickling my funny bones now, but a couple of days back it pumped up my adrenaline level to the zenith, a level that could give the Olympic sprinters a run for their money. Actually the backronym comprising the second letter of the English alphabet from both ends taken in reverse order was too heavy a weight for my fragile shoulders.

But then the darkest of nights see the light of a day.Moments were hard to come. No amount of stimulators could keep my senses from pondering about the aftermath. The day as a start did not hold anything special for me which could have shed off my anxiety. The sun was wearing a mischievous smile on its face as if trying to giggle at my worthless fear of the dark. One by one the birds of my flock flooded the room which could have changed our destiny forever. Dont get me wrong. Here too, I was the last one to step in. I could not figure out till date what would that person ( the most important person for the moment ) have lost if he would have relieved us from the anxiety before chiding us for our undermined performance. But then, that's way it ought to be.

Certain waits may have given you an opportunity to live thousand lives in a very limited span of time anticipating the result, but then the actual result puts a befitting end to a developing climax of anxiety. You are left or rather I was left hurrying down the memory lanes that changed my world for a while but then the whole adventure was missing. Now the smile on my face did not lack the originality it did a few days back.

I had promised to myself to pen down my feelings after my so called achievement.I could not find out a better place than one of those classrooms that started snatching away my interest from one of the most prestigious professions in this mortal world.